...and the survey says?

No more chemo!

Dr H, who is very aggressive in her treatment and her 'expert' second opinion in Dallas, who is also aggressive, both concluded that the risks of more chemo outweigh the benefits.

The fact that:

the tumor was small
the tumor hadn't metastasized to the lymph nodes
the tumor hadn't spread to surrounding breast tissue (no vascular invasion)
all ductal breast tissue has been removed (on both sides)
the recurrent tumor had shown a tendency to stay in the breast (which is all gone now)
Linda had a clean bone scan
Linda had a clean CAT scan
Linda had a clean PET scan
and likely several other medical factors all led us to that decision.

So now, we can focus on her recovery and reconstruction and we can try and get back to where we were on July 1 of this year. Living life, loving life and appreciating all the beautiful things and people that surround us.

Another clear PET scan!

The title says it all. Words can't express the relief and joy I am feeling, so I won't even try.

Recovery

Linda is recovering very well. She still has limited use of her arms (to avoid stretching healing tissue/muscles) but other than that is up puttering around the house and visiting with friends. It truly amazes me how resilient the human body and spirit is to injury.

I've got to tell you though, it has been a tough week for me, more so mentally than physically. As strong as she has been, it *really* sucks watching her go through this. It is absolutely the best thing we can do to ensure the cancer won't come back, so it is well worth it.


Just look at her, as radiant as ever, and she's even pain-killer free here in this picture taken today. Incredible!

Our son referred to her as "Robot Mommy" as she had an inordinate number of tubes coming out of her chest, sides and abdomen when she came home. She had a fanny pack to carry around the pain pump and Jackson-Pratt drain bulbs. Quite the fashion statement. I removed her pain pump on Tuesday when it ran out, 2 drains were removed on Wednesday and the last 2 drains were removed on Friday. She is now back to having the standard number of orifices. In a couple weeks, she starts filling the expanders, which should take about 4-6 weeks to fill out completely. After that we wait 3 months while her muscles and tissue get used to the expanded size. After 3 months, the expanders are replaced with the final implants, or as they are known in the breast cancer community, foobies (for fake boobies). The results can be truly amazing.

We visited with Linda's oncologist on Friday. In contrast to what Dr H. had expected, it turns out the new cancer was biologically identical to the first cancer. It may not even be a 'new' cancer, just another site of the original tumor. It is still triple negative (ER-/PR-/Her2-), still aggressive (about a 7-8 on a scale of 3-9) , but was only about 1cm. Dr H. gave huge kudos to the radiologist who read the mammogram for catching the almost imperceptible tumor. Kudos indeed!

So what's next? Well, Dr. H wants another PET scan to get a baseline, and if that baseline proves clean, there is a very good chance that Linda will *not* have to do more chemo. Enough so that Dr H. put off getting the port put in. In this 20 month roller-coaster of good and shitty news, not having to endure chemo would definitely be one for the + column. Fingers and toes crossed.

This is a blog that another lady has been kind enough to share.

Breast Reconstruction with Expanders

It has been incredibly helpful for us. The fear of the unknown has been one of the hardest aspects of this journey. By documenting her mastectomy and reconstruction, Lianne has truly given us a gift that is immeasurable. Thank you.

Home sweet home

Linda came home Saturday afternoon and is on the mend. She even made it outside today for an hour but is back in bed now resting. That 100F Texas heat made short work of her.

Everything is going as planned and we're happy about that. Thank you for all your support.

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death

I am writing this post sitting next to Linda in our hospital room after a long 36 hours. The surgery went smoothly. Not only is the cancer gone (again), but we laid the groundwork for the next few months of recovery. As always, my superstar was unwavering in her courage.

I've told her many times how proud I am of her. Her response usally falls somewhere between "Well I don't really have a choice now do I?" and "What else am I going to do?". She's right. We don't have a choice. The alternative is simply not acceptable. What she may not realize is that she does have a choice in how she faces our 'non-option'. In this battle, I have only seen chinks in her armor on 2 occasions and they lasted 10 minutes at most. I know there is fear and uncertainty in there, but she has the courage to not let it define her fight. She has never once been a 'victim' in the 17 years I have known her. I only hope that when my 'test' comes, whatever it may be, I will have 10% of the strength she has shown.

I Googled quotes about courage from people much wiser than myself to help me express my thoughts. I came across the one in the title of this post attributed to Earl Wilson:

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

I think that is a pretty insightful quote, but as I finish up this post, I need only look at my wife sleeping next to me for the very definition of courage.

Here we are...

Not much to say today. I've realized I'm a better raconteur than a color commentator. My mind is a mess right now so words of wisdom and insight are far and few between. I'm a bit scared of the next few days but more importantly, I am eager to get Linda through this. In all, the procedure should take about 6-7 hours with 2 days of 'intense' recovery followed by 3 weeks of at-home recovery. All things considered, Linda is in good spirits. She has received comfort from her 'sisters' who have been through this. It's tough, but nothing she can't handle, I'm sure of it. The other night, I asked her what she was doing, she said she was looking at some nice boobs on the computer. I replied that I've been looking at boobs on the computer for the past 20 years :)

Godspeed babe!