For some reason, I decided to take a different way to work. My usual commute has slowly been infiltrated by traffic lights. I'm sure there is a new one every couple of months. Damn suburban sprawl! The alternative route is longer, but only presents 1 traffic light. You can really fly along 1431. With the sunroof open and Metallica blasting, I cruised along at what some may consider an excessive speed (and what TxDOT definitely does consider excessive). Just as I crested a hill, I saw the telltale sign of Texas State Trooper black and white heading in the opposite direction. Ease off the gas...eyes in the rear view...wait...wait...shit!
Really? Linda's last day of treatment. What a way to sully a great day.
Mr. State Trooper was really playing the part. Mirrored sunglasses and all, although they were more modern than the stereotypical aviator style ones. Intimidating nonetheless. "License and Insurance please". "Step out of the vehicle sir". What the hell...for a speeding ticket? This can't be good.For once in my life, all my tags, license, and insurance were up to date. Just give me my ticket and I'll be on my way. My inspection sticker was due to expire this month. The jackass who did my state inspection last November put the "11" on backwards, so it jumped out to the officer. As he looked closer, it seems the serial number was garbled. He ran the number back in his cruiser and after about 15 minutes, came back and said the serial number was invalid and that I was in possession of a forged permit. "I'll need to call in my corporal to see how to handle this". Mother %&@^%%#$^&!^. He informed me that with the new emissions testing here in Texas, there are A LOT of forged stickers.
Meanwhile, I sat on the guardrail along 1431 as everyone drove by and checked me out. 2 cruisers were now behind my car, so there was likely extra oogling on behalf of the passers by. Fantastic! Judgmental bastards!
"Sir, we're going to need to issue you a citation". This is getting worse by the minute. I rolled my eyes. "Hold on sir...we believe you, but we need to create a paper trail so that we can prosecute the person who made the counterfeit sticker. You'll just need to subpoena me in court and we'll get this all sorted out". Court? Subpoena? Arrrggg! I wondered for a moment if they'd shoot me if I ran across the field into the trees. Wait a sec...this is Williamson County...first they'd taze me, then they'd shoot me, then they'd taze me again for good measure. Better stay put.
As they peeled off the sticker for evidence, they looked at each other and smiled. "Sir...come here please". Apparently the Jiffy Lube jackass who affixed my sticker didn't scrape off the old one entirely, and left a bit of the old serial number, which overlayed perfectly with the new one. The sticker was good after all, although I was now in possession of a valid, but decimated sticker. I needed a new one this month anyway.
Corporal: Did you write him up yet?
Constable: Yes
Corporal: 3 or a 6?
Constable: 6
Corporal: Make it a 3
Constable: Yes sir
Cool. I'm not sure what 3 or 6 meant yet, but 3 has to be better than 6 right? Were they going to knock some mileage off my speeding ticket? Sweet. This is getting better.
Turns out 6 is a ticket and a 3 is a warning. As an act of good faith for keeping me for a 1/2 hour, they just gave me a warning citation for my speeding. No ticket, no court, AND I didn't have to blow anyone to get out of it! This is back to being a great day!
I tend to be a bit more aware of my karama these days. Was this the scales of fate tilting on my side as a correction for the past year? Or was it another test...do I need to pay this one back? I guess I'll never know for sure where my cosmic tally count sits, but if I try to be a good-egg most of the time, that can't be a bad thing can it?
Linda, I am so proud of you. You are stronger than I ever imagined and you amaze me every day. I will rub your head, bald or otherwise, forever :)
1 comment:
What a day! It was the dark to compared to the light of Linda's last treatment. Congratulations to you both for getting through this, and give Linda a big hug from me, would you?
Post a Comment