Friday, August 7, 2009

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death

I am writing this post sitting next to Linda in our hospital room after a long 36 hours. The surgery went smoothly. Not only is the cancer gone (again), but we laid the groundwork for the next few months of recovery. As always, my superstar was unwavering in her courage.

I've told her many times how proud I am of her. Her response usally falls somewhere between "Well I don't really have a choice now do I?" and "What else am I going to do?". She's right. We don't have a choice. The alternative is simply not acceptable. What she may not realize is that she does have a choice in how she faces our 'non-option'. In this battle, I have only seen chinks in her armor on 2 occasions and they lasted 10 minutes at most. I know there is fear and uncertainty in there, but she has the courage to not let it define her fight. She has never once been a 'victim' in the 17 years I have known her. I only hope that when my 'test' comes, whatever it may be, I will have 10% of the strength she has shown.

I Googled quotes about courage from people much wiser than myself to help me express my thoughts. I came across the one in the title of this post attributed to Earl Wilson:

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

I think that is a pretty insightful quote, but as I finish up this post, I need only look at my wife sleeping next to me for the very definition of courage.

1 comment:

Jude said...

You and Linda are not alone in this John, many many prayers are being sent out for a full and complete recovery! Bless you both! Please keep us updated.

Sending love....