Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Is this normal?

We celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary yesterday. What a fantastically normal day. I took the day off work, we had breakfast @ Rudy's, went and caught an early afternoon showing of 'The Pineapple Express' (very funny flick), we did some some shopping, got home to get the kids off the bus, cooked up some chicken on the grill, helped the kids with their homework, took my son to his first Boy Scout pack meeting, got 'em home, put them to bed and fell asleep watching Nova.

Honestly, on Dec 13th 2007, I wasn't even sure if we'd see 13 years. I was in complete shock and I had no idea what the 'C-word' meant. Months? Years? Not a clue. What I can say is that I can truly appreciate a normal day, and how blessed I feel to have the opportunity to do all those things. Carpe Diem.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Home Stretch

We met with Dr H. on Tuesday to go over the results of the PET scan and brain MRI in person. Again, all clear! There was some minor uptake around the area of the original tumor in the left breast, but that is most likely cells actively healing the site of the lumpectomy. Nothing to worry about but something we will keep an eye on of course.

Next up is radiation therapy. Studies have proven that radiation significantly decreases the odds of re-occurrence. If the original chemo was the cake and secondary chemo was the frosting, then the radiation is the sprinkles. Who likes cake without sprinkles anyways? The radiation regimen consists of targeting the lymph nodes as well as the site of the original tumor. It is administered 5 days a week for 6 1/2 weeks. That's about 33 half-hour visits to the radio-oncologist over the next month and a half. Luckily, Texas Oncology has an office only minutes from home so the commute won't be too bad (we used their downtown office for chemo as that is where Dr H. has her practice). I suspect I'll have a battle with the insurance on this one. Our insurance considers radiation therapy a 'procedure', which has a $0 copay whereas the provider considers it an 'office visit', which has a $15. $15 isn't bad at all, but when you have 33 visits, $15 x 33 = $465, and that's easily worth a trip to Vegas for the weekend. Does anyone out there have a similar experience with radiation, insurance companies, and co-pays?

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", or so goes Dr H's aggressive treatment philosophy. Instead of straight-up radiation, Linda will be concurrently taking a very low dose of Xeloda (a chemotherapy) during radiation. This chemo (hopefully side-effect free) will extra-sensitize the targeted cells. Radiation typically damages the DNA of a cell during cell division. Cells are 'programmed' to kill themselves if the DNA is damaged during mitosis. That is natures mechanism to prevent unwanted cell mutation. There is only a very specific window during cell division when the radiation particle can damage the DNA. The role of Xeloda during radiation is to extend that window so there is more opportunity for the radiation particles to do their dirty work. At least this is my understanding from a 15 minute discussion with Dr H. The Xeloda is taken in pill form the day of the treatment so there are no more infusions, and if the Xeloda has undesired side-effects, Linda can simply stop taking it and continue on with radiation therapy as usual.

More good news...Linda is scheduled to have her 'port' removed next week. It is not a big operation but it is surely a nice milestone to achieve. It's been a long time coming!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Blue Skies and Sunshine

While hurricane Ike pounds our Texas coast, our family has been blessed with Blue Skies and Sunshine!

Official word came from Linda's oncologist @ 4:02pm.

Brain MRI - CLEAR
PET scan - CLEAR

The cancer has not spread and is, in fact, gone!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm going to go celebrate with the center of my universe!

John

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Karma

I've talked in the past about my opinion that there is a reason or explanation for everything. Today, the day of Linda's PET scan, something happened to me that I cannot explain. To understand it in context, I have to step back to just over 9 months ago.

A couple days before Linda's diagnosis, she was going about her usual pre-Christmas shop-a-thon. This day, she was at Target picking up some gifts for the kids. For one of his big 'Mommy & Daddy' presents, our son had asked for this huge Tri-Clops remote controlled car (it's pretty cool). If memory serves me correctly, it was about $100. She found one, threw it in the basket with the rest of the yuletide goodies and headed for the checkout. During checkout, one of the items rang up an error and because the error was on the screen, the next 5 or 6 items that were dragged over the scanner didn't register, including the Tri-Clops. Linda pointed out to the cashier that there was an error and after realizing her mistake, she pulled back the items that went through unscanned and rescanned them...except for the Tri-Clops. As Linda loaded the day's booty into back of the car, she thought to herself that the 'Total' was a little light. Sure enough, after checking her receipt, it became apparent that the cashier had missed the Tri-Clops. So here sat Linda in the Target parking lot with a choice. Go home with a 'free' Tri-Clops or return to the store to pay for it. Now before you cast stones, think of everytime your waiter has missed something off your bill (hey...he forgot to charge us for the coffee...cool). Did you bring it to their attention? Or when the shorts you bought at Walmart rang up at less than the advertised price. Did you point that out to the cashier? If you have, then you are a better person than I. Needless to say, Linda decided go home with a 'free' Tri-Clops. Several days later, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Were the 2 events related? Who knows? We often joke to our friend, who is a pharmacist at Target, that Target gave us cancer. It has become neighborhood folklore. Over the past 9 months, all of our friends have told us of recently being in a similar situation, recalling that Target gave Linda cancer, and then deciding to do the 'right' thing. It's kind of funny, but it does get you thinking...is there such a thing. Do good things happen to good people (or visa versa)? Does what goes around, come around? Is there a universal balance of good and bad?

So what does that have to do with Linda's PET scan today? Everything!

Linda was done her scans by 1pm. I had planned to meet her for lunch but she was literally still radioactive from the isotope injections and barium smoothie she drank. We thought it prudent not to go out in public for lunch. Instead, we'd make some tacos at home. I stopped of at HEB to pick up some lettuce, tomatoes, taco mix and such as well as some potted mums (one of Linda's favorite flowers) for my Honey. At 2pm, the grocery store is pretty quiet so I was in and out. As I loaded everything into the car, I thought something's strange...that wasn't the right total. Lo and behold, the mums didn't ring up. It was an instant of clarity in a 9-month long haze. You've got to be kidding me? On Linda's PET scan day? Is this a test? I can't explain it and won't even try to. It just happened because it was meant to be, no reason needed. I'll let you figure out what I did with those mums.

Tomorrow will be a sunny day!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Faith

Diagnosis, fear, anger, love, depression, chemotherapy, anticipation, optimism, isolation, uncertainty, surgery, pain, sympathy, grief, compassion, more chemotherapy, and hope.

It has taken a long 9 months of active treatment to get to this point. Tomorrow is a huge day. I can't even begin to express the feelings I am having. As much as I have been building tomorrow in my mind, it will be anti-climactic as we won't get the results until Friday (at the earliest) or next Tuesday (at the latest). At some point between now and then, we'll learn if we have been able to keep the cancer out of the rest of Linda's body. I'm trying to think of something insightful to say, but I can't. For once, I am at a loss for words.

Thank you to all the people who have sent prayers, positive vibes and/or good will. I may not have a traditional belief system, but I do have faith. I have faith in humanity. I have faith in friends and family. I have faith in Linda. I have faith that good things happen to good people. We have done everything we can and I have faith that tomorrow will be a sunny day.


Saturday, September 6, 2008

You go girl!

Linda attended her support group this week (for young breast cancer survivors) and was saddened to find out her friend, who is a stage IV survivor, discovered brain lesions after noticing some facial numbness. After further discussion with her group, it was revealed that IF triple negative (ER-, PR-, HER2-) breast cancers spread, they statistically tend to metastasize in the brain.

The next day, Linda was at the oncologist's office demanding a brain scan as part of next week's lab work. A PET scan covers the body from the neck down and does not include the head. A separate scan is needed for the head and not typically done unless symptoms exist. Linda left the office with an order for a brain scan on the same day as her PET scan (September 11).

Firstly, I'm glad Linda is back with her group. I can notice a positive change in her demeanor when she attends these meetings. Over the past few months they have occurred during her low cycle and she was unable to attend. She was on her feet for this one and it sure made a difference. Secondly, I am extremely proud of her for taking control of her treatment. She was not taking NO for an answer and was not leaving that office without a brain scan order. Slowly but surely I'm getting my Linda back. You rock babe!

Linda's friend needs your help. Please send your prayers and positive thoughts her way and let's help her get through this difficult time. Thank you.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

You booked your PET scan for what day?

September is a busy month around our household. In addition to new school year activities, both kids have their birthdays in September (Linda is usually in a very festive spirit around Christmas, I'll let you do the math...LOL), and we celebrate our wedding anniversary (13 years) in September also. So that's 3 days out of the month that are off the table for appointments. That leaves 27 perfectly good days to schedule a PET scan. Sept 8th, great, Sept 14, that'd be perfect, Sept 15, fantastic. So when did Linda schedule her PET scan?.....9/11. Uhhhg!

So...for us, September 11th will no longer be a day of sadness but we plan for a day of celebration. The 1st annual 'Clear PET Scan' day.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Advice needed: Preparing for a PET scan

Linda finished her chemotherapy last Thursday and Labor Day presented us with a nice long weekend to recover. She was definitely exhausted all weekend but was able to putter around the house for a few hours at a time. The primary side effects are wearing off and hopefully by week's end, she'll be up and about for the whole day.

Our next major event will be a PET scan in about 3 weeks, prior to radiation therapy. Linda had CAT and bone scans prior to chemo but that was 9 months ago. Everything turned up clean then, and in all honesty, I didn't realize the implications of the test. This time however, I am all too aware of the importance of the PET scan results. Remember the 'longest 2 days of my life'? I'm pretty sure the wait for the PET results will top those 2 days. It is still weeks away and I am already stressed about it.

A question to anyone who can offer advice: How do you cope with the stress of it? More importantly, how can I help Linda cope with it?